I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
