So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
