I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
