Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
