I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
