I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
