We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
