turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
