i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
