His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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