so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
