I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Randomize
