I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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