You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
