The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
