I wannas sexs uuuuu
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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