Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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