The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
