these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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