Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this will be a night to untag.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
