Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
