We're like a lot better than the average bears
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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