Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't deserve a penis
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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