yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
Be there in 6 mins Iโm smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the menโs room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out Iโm married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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