I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've blown a few things in my day
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
