Got a toothbrush?
we have pet lesbian snakes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize