Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
