i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
