Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
