is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
