One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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