hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
