Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm both gender and math confused
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
