Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
