I skipped work to stalk him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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