i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
