my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
