I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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