yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
