I faked an abortion last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
