whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
