You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
