How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
