I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
did i just pee glitter
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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