i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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