i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
