So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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