Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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