You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
