Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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