Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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